Tuesday, April 2, 2013

This is called dicks.


Another day, another time. Another place? Oh course not. I'm stuck here in this city, in this cage of buildings. A circle to run in, working to live to work! I'm just a speck in this place, there are so many of us here. To be happy, oh well that's a feeling we don't know anything about here. Wait, I take that back. Those old bald white guy in churches? They're happy, but that's just because they are Hollywood actors and they have to be. Ha bet a bear is going to come busting out of nowhere and tear my eyes about for mentioning their lack of hair... that's what they teach in churches. No, I'm not joking, don't you read your bibles? Look it up if you don't believe me in II Kings chapter two verse twenty three. I don't know about you but I'd prefer studying Peter Rabbit and Dr. Seuss. That's why I always hung out in the nursery when I went to church with my parents, there are morals to those stories too. I don't get why people take their kids to church and then just screw them over in the end. They're all like, I love you so much honey that I want you to have the best life and hear all about hell so that way you are so scared that you will never do anything bad, only that's not true because it hasn't worked on any of us anyways haha and heaven? Yeah we just don't talk about that because it's not real any way. Like the other day, there was this little girl that didn't want to get in the car and her mom is all like, you need to obey me and the girl is all like no fucking way i won't obey you I wouldn't obey her either she didn't look like much of a mom because she had so much makeup on but then the mom said I'll give you a sucker if you get in the car. So the girl did. The mom was all like haha your're going to die now little girl because suckers are bad for you. And I was all like, who's going to hell now?
But I'm kind of getting off topic here...
My point is, I'm alive here. Yeah that's a fucking point, don't judge me. I can feel you judging me, so stop. Yeah, you didn't stop, but you can't make people stop ever about anything. Why is that? So you can't ever make people stop but then when something happens that they don't like they automatically blame you for making them do it. People are so fucking stupid. That's why I'm glad I'm not a human... I'm not a human? Yeah I'm kidding, just kidding I'm not... Now you don't know what the truth is, so I'll tell you because I'm nice like that, I'm kidding about not kidding that I'm not kidding about kidding. Feel better? I don't either. I think I'm going to puke like I'm on a mind roller coaster. No but really, just watch a couple people how the act with each other. I'm going to just briefly describe the people around me. I am going to start with this one guy because he seems like he's going to leave. you know that antsy sort of vibe people give off and you can't tell if they are running from the law or just have scabies or something. maybe they have a mosquito bite in their asshole. I can't imagine what kind of mosquito would go up an asshole anyway, like the blood down there can't be that great because anything that goes into your ass goes right into your blood stream, that's why people who don't ever poop are just gross. And that's why gay people are dicks, and that's why I'm for gay rights because I think dicks are great (that's also why I'm not a lesbian). Now this girl comes up to the guy I'm talking about. She's a typical blond bitch with a hot pink shirt on that says PINK on it in really bold black letters and her purse is clear...it's like a chic style purse but it's clear... you can see right into it just like you can see into her mind sex, sex sex, sex, sex, sex. It's like she's like check out my bag bitches it's cleaner than your's because it's clearer than your's, you wouldn't want anybody to see into your bag, you probably have used condoms in there and a toothbrush or something. She probably wishes her wallet was clear too so we could all see the hundred dollar bills she stole from her forty year old sexy ex-husband. She's making those pathetic puppy eyes that make guys fall into your vagina, and the guy is all like... oh my gawd I'm not antsy anymore, you can itch my asshole any day with your eyeballs.
Now there is this table right behind them and the girl is probably in her first year of college. She's taking it really serious too, all like, I'm going to come sit at a coffee shop with tea because it's more expensive than coffee but still cheap and I'm going to just study because I actually want to go somewhere with my life.  What she doesn't know is that she will probably drop out in her last year because college doesn't matter anyway and you learn way more with out it. Or maybe she will graduate so her Grandpa can be so proud of her on his deathbed and her parents can have a reason to get out of theirs and she will grow up to be one of those really smart people that pronounce people as dead or a school teacher or something, but school teachers pronounce people dead every day anyway so it doesn't really matter what you become is my point, you do the same thing no matter what.
It seems like we are covering every age of people here, got the late twenties horny couple, the young college student and... to my right, a little trio of forty somethings. Oh and do they think they are sexy, and funny as hell too. I fucking hate people in their forties. They are all like, oh we aren't fifty yet, it's all good we are still young, they they are freaking the fuck out on every corner like what is wrong with my eyes, why can't I see like I used to? It's like they should just be grandparents already the way they talk about it. But they are all like cuddled together and on the couch and they have really dark faces because they got it good and go to Florida while their two kids are back at home with their grandparents eating keebler cookies and milk that expired yesterday. But they'll live, we all have been there. Then those are the kids that their parents take to church and they don't say anything about drunken Friday night threesomes, God hates threesome because we are only supposed to fuck that one person we are married to. And the one person we marry is always that ugly douchbag with a really small penis and doesn't know how to use it so we just get divorced anyway, and start hating God because he made us marry that douchbag and that's how we fuck our children over. So why not just have threesomes and make everybody happy? And that's how even more babies are made, from threesomes because nobody has condoms because we all have clear purses and we can't see where we are standing anyway because our eyes are going, who cares if it is on the street corner? The cop that came to arrest us started masturbating instead because he hadn't seen that much action since his divorce twenty years ago, and it's not like there is any kids out there that will get scarred because they are all in the churches anyway. It's all good, we will always have the good people and the people who like sex so we will always have people, just maybe a few more of the ones that like sex and that's why the good people get to be good because there's less of them and that makes everything better. That's why guys think their dicks are better than they really are. Dicks.

1 comment:

  1. <3<3<3
    Three hearts to you,
    a mug of tea,
    and a silly dance upon request.

    ReplyDelete