Monday, May 27, 2013

Random Scrawls from Random Notebooks

I'm just a dumb bitch
that smokes half a camel cigarette 
two times a day
I'm running, running and
my feet are not touching the ground
I wear my sunglasses
halfway down my nose
and juggle glittering balls 
for pennies that can't go in 
street meters
I wish I didn't have blond hair
so I dyed it green
If you "make eyes" at me
thats when I get mean
don't cry, or you'll
remind me of my aunt
the day her cat died...
It got hit by a car
one of those electric kind
that look like bugs.

___________________________

Who can see the pain in a child
when the sun shines in their eyes?

___________________________

Lets live to fullfil the lusts that others bring us, the joys that are thrown our way, the times of sadness we like to focus on, let these get us through our day. When people act like they want to kill us- most of the time they probably do, learn to ignore and fuck them over with skillful glances and evil eyes. But don't forget, that after a battle one must always laugh it off...snicker, giggle..cackle, roar, heal the wounds the battle bore. Nothing can penetrate laughter, so if you can, laugh while in the battle as well..  It is an intense technique that advanced warriors use... it will keep you from being wounded, but it also pisses your opponent to no end, making him fight longer. You might be better off just focusing on their strategies to make your own-build your knowledge on the art. Don't be afraid to push your limits though. This is how you learn your boundaries, and grow. Eye contact. This is another key. So is confidence, that'll piss your opponent as well but you are fighting after all, what is a little more anger?

___________________________

They got the bumpity bumps and they got the trills and thrills... the bass drops and the jingles, always searching for the soul the feeling that makes your heart drop makes you stop and think awhile.
Oh, but we want the fame, the power in our name... schools are the answer, teachers are the key, give us all our money... we'll move your feet to a dance.  

___________________________

My heart is heavy, my spirit is not dancing- 
the beats are all wrong- I'm confused.
This is the season for new beginnings 
a time to breath the breath of life.
Why am I choking? 
Suffocating? 
Dying? 
My eyes pool
 and threaten to spill over...
A part of me wants to raise the dam,
let loose and free these feelings
BUT
a greater part is holding back
enjoying the suffering.
I feel and aura of energy around me- it can't mingle with the happiness and joy of everyone I am near, and they feel it too... My stomach is sick, my teeth clenched- I can't let go, and I'm scared. 
The outdoors, what I connect to like no other- holds no beauty this evening. The warm spring rain chills me to the bone ... and while I'm sure a bird sings somewhere, I do not hear it. Where did the sun go? I can always feel his rays even on the cloudiest days- but even as he shines I do not know his presence. I am trying to reach for a better feeling, thought, memory, nothing is there. To my right is a rainbow, on the left a sunset ... overhead, a handful of starlings are flying with a pair of seagulls- I cannot find or feel any beauty in it. I am going to break this. I have to. Because it's not who I am.
I'm going to describe what I see!
- The seagulls pearly white wings almost blended with the sky,
This isn't working. That sounded like shit. 
Retry-
The sunset was efwlkjbdp94yt3p9qufhapi I CAN'T FUCKING SPELL!
Well, anyway---
It was lots of shades of purple. Purple is my favorite color, it makes me happy-it didn't-but we're going to pretend...that'll be fun, right? So yeah, when I saw the sky, my heart was over flowing with happiness, I couldn't stop smiling, the light was reflecting in my eyes- yep, it can do that! Well, my eyes turned purple to put it bluntly... the purple (it's a light, bright, deep, electric kind of purple- full of light) it filled my entire mind, I stopped thinking ... and only felt. 
A seagull swooped down and whispered in my ear "You are beautiful, Hannah."
It worked!!! I got it! I'm so proud of myself.

___________________________

I came in as a beam
Radiant... 
I am universal.

___________________________

Life is a dance
We can't hold back, 
Got to give it our all
follow the call
obey the moves
and put in soul
Make it our own
show the world
The story you tell
is the story you get
Little bit
at a time
Gotta give it time
make the most of every
moment
Dance in the 
violets
Laugh with the 
rain
Sing with the 
birds
Call out your name-
the hills answer back
they know where you're at.

___________________________

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Heart Ramblings to no one in particular...

You gave me a the glint in your eye
like a treasure, I held it
close to my soul 
Until the day came you told me
it was fake
My fortune lost, my eyes full
as my heart held pain

Again and again I saw you 
give this treasure away
to fullfil your own heart 
and make life have 
some purpose and place

When I looked in your eyes
the glint was gone
had it even been there all along?
And with each sip of blame 
your level of life was being drained
until the day you looked 
in the mirror-
and saw death instead
You gave it up,
for good you said.

And once again my heart
was vulnerable to the
sunshine on your lips and
I fell deep into the fountain
of your love

But as they do, situations
came into your life
difficult tests 
that you wanted to ace
but you felt yourself failing
in the name of fame
Desperate for change
desire to fit in
you fell
I watched
Unable to provide 
the rung you struggled
to grasp

One day not too long ago
you began to cry
And the clouds were 
washed from your eyes
the world is viewed differently
when you have no disguise

Starting from nothing 
you began to build- again

You lost me once
and hurt me twice
I am now loose from this vice
there is no going back
the love in my heart still runs deep
But I now stand on my own two feet
Moving on
Saying goodbye
wishing you the best forever
happiness
and all good things
you will never be forgotten
and never forget
how much I loved you
and that
I still do
always.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Eternal Existence

Traveling down a road
 with no where to go
 just fulfilling my time 
with the purpose in mind 
to face any challenge 
thrown in my path
on the throne 
deep in the night
full of might 
I fight with love
giving and showing 
what we're about 
to bring out
 the smiles
 in every child
 screens disappear 
as we become
 the new media 
casting aside the fear
of dying
crying
bad guy heroes
now history
dismissed
into the mist 
far away in the sky
learn to fly 
like the blackbird 
ruby on the wing 
sparkling 
shining like
diamonds 
engaged to situations
unimaginable to the 
human mind
time goes by 
like a time traveler 
taking you
to places
only spiritual beings 
have been and 
your eyes 
are opened to worlds unknown
to anybody. 
Who is below
or above 
isn't relevant anymore,
because there is no
depth or distance
no way to measure
forever
what is existence?
are we just dreaming?
or are dreams
reality?
questions.
we ask because 
we want reason-
but do we need reason
to be happy?
to live?
to love?
questions.
give up your thoughts,
stop thinking-
let the wings of the wind 
carry you
without a worry
or care... 
you don't care 
because you trust 
yourself 
enough when
in the right mind-set
in a daze 
those days
when you appear
 to be gazing
 into outer space
 spacing out (as 
some may say 
day dreaming) 
but we are actually
 traveling 
 place to place
we are ageless
 eyebright
the beauty of our youth
physically 
 internally
eternal

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Caterpillar Song

Smile Caterpillar
turn your face into the sun
you can walk on my land
I don't care if you run
It is all organic,
there is nothing to fear
no chemicals, no pesticides
you are loved here

I know that you've been tossed about
a time or two before,
so I understand your hesitance
to come knocking at my door
But I can assure you,
as soon as you're inside
I'll kiss your fuzzy face,
look in your big brown eyes, 
say, let's always love each other 
until the day we die

Let me come into your chrysalis
there's beauty in obscure 
When the time is right
we'll start our flight
wings- in this illuminated sphere
And I can assure you,
As we're flying side by side
I'll kiss your fuzzy face,
look in your big brown eyes, 
say, let's always love each other 
until the day we die